i feel really sick. and pissed off, bc i hate feeling really sick. i'm not sure if it's from drinking last nite, not sleeping, both, or that and more. can't get sick now anyway, is crunch time. i have to finish my IS deadlines for the semester.
stupid boyfriend got very drunk last nite, and i stayed up with him to make sure he didn't pass out and die. yay for holding the puke bucket to his face for hours. and he thinks i am joking when i say i don't want kids. HE can stay up with them when they puke and poop everywhere.
man, i don't know why i am so pissed, but i have been for like a week. i just want to punch someone for no good reason. well, a few deceont reasons, but i don'twant to talk about them. supressing them obviously is not working tho. one day i'm just going to blurt out the big secret, i've come so close so many times, roomate seems to know, but little does SHE know it's only the tip of the iceberg.
i was looking online yesterday to see if i could work for the government. be a badass, help my country, etc. apparently the government is only looking for people with perfect vision and hearing who get average grades but are intense thinkers. alas, i feel thinking is overrated right now, and do not wish to do any more of it. sadly, finals week is still not this week but next, and there is lots to do thinking wise before i get to that point.
sometimes, i wish not that i was dead, but maybe that i was struck with pneumonia or was hit by a car, so i could lay in bed for a long time and NOT DO SCHOOLWORK. perhaps karma will get me for saying that, but right now i don't think karma is pleased with me anyway, making me sick and worried and doubting and mean.
sometimes i really wonder about me.